hiking, hiking, and more hiking

The Appalachian Trail.  30 miles in 3 days.  From Pine Grove Furnace state Park to Blue Ridge Summit, PA.  From Camden, NJ, to our closing retreat dubbed “Dis-Orientation.”  From a year of stable work and community life into the unknown future…

We hiked 13 miles the first day, 10 the second, and 7 the last day.  My feet tried to carry out a mutiny at the end of day two.  But I survived!  All 38 of us did! 

I was so excited to be out in the woods hiking and camping – something I haven’t done all year.  I wasn’t so excited when it rained during the night our first night.  And then in the morning as we were packing and getting ready to go.  We had to ear breakfast and make our lunches inside the Budget truck where our luggage and camping gear was supposed to go because it was pouring.  Luckily, it stopped before we left.  It was a lovely day of hiking.  Not too hot, and the terrain wasn’t too difficult -- although my toes got sore and I could tell how out of shape I was on the few uphills we had!  We ended up at a campground that had a swimming pool and showers – a nice ending to a long day…

Only that wasn’t the end.  *imperative expletive* the rain.  One night of dampness was annoying yet adventuresome, but two nights in a row was just miserable.  The staff helpers had kindly set our tents up early and laid our sleeping bags out in the sunshine to dry from the night before, but nothing had quite dried out completely.  And at 8pm, as everyone was finishing settling into their tents and thinking about s’mores over the campfire, we hear the rumble of thunder and then BOOM!  Downpour.  Escape into our tents.  What was there to do but give each other backrubs?  Just as the worst of it passed over our heads, the person with the truck and bus keys started coming around to ask people if they wanted to go find shelter elsewhere.  When we opened the tent door, we discovered that we were surrounded by an inch-deep lake of water.  Thank goodness for a plastic-bottomed tent!  Others weren’t so fortunate.  They ended up sleeping in the back of the truck, in the bus, and in the foyer of the bathroom building.  Only 14 of us stayed in our tents overnight.  Dan chose to sleep elsewhere, but I just put a plastic tarp over the top of the tent to keep the roof from dripping and managed to stay fairly dry the rest of the night.

The second day of hiking was brutal: it was hillier and rockier, and I got blisters on my pinky toes and the side of my left foot.  :(  I was one of many who hobbled more than walked around camp that evening…but joy of joys it didn’t rain!!! 

The third day wasn’t so bad because the damage had already been done, so I just bandaged my feet up, took some painkillers, loosened my laces, and hiked on…I had to go slow, but it didn’t hurt as much as the day before and it was a short hike – we made it to the trail exit by 11:45am!  We were the first group, so we got to wait and rest an hour for everyone else to get there and then we all walked the last mile up the road to the retreat center together. 

Whew!  I did it!  =D  

It’s the end of the world as we know it…

JVC Camden 08-09 has ended. 

Conor and Megan left a week ago, and Patti, Dan I finished out this last week together just – except that we didn’t really see much of each other…  Patti was really busy all week, and Mom and Dad visited Tuesday through Thursday, so I was somewhat preoccupied as well! 

It was really nice to have them visit, but a little stressful with trying to wrap up work and JVC stuff and spend time with them, too.  But they were really useful in helping me get my oil change taken care of!  They visited me at work on Wednesday afternoon and we dropped my car off at the shop on the way home.  Showed them around the neighborhood when we got home – went down some streets I’d never been on before all year!  Not having the car on Thursday morning meant I got to sleep in and walk to the Camden Children’s Garden to meet my summer camp crew there for our field trip – =)  As they were all getting on the bus to head back to ERLH, Mom and Dad picked me up and drove me to the shop to get my car so I could drive it back to work for the rest of the day.  I dropped my parents off at the airport that evening for their flight to New Hampshire for my aunt’s wedding.

Friday was my last day of work.  It felt kind of weird because we didn’t have a normal schedule and I didn’t really have to do anything at all.  There was a going-away feast for me: chicken, rice, beans, tacos, chips, fruit salad…and apple crisp (made by me).  After all that, a cake was brought out for me, and Cindy had the kids say nice goodbye things to me, which was really sweet (the best one was “thank you for helping me feel better when I was upset”).  After lunch, the kids went outside, and I was summoned over to the management building for another farewell (for me and the law intern) and more cake – which I managed to avoid.  When I got back to the Education Center, some of the kids were already getting ready to go home!  The ones who were left just had free time to play games – and then it started to rain.  And I mean RAIN!  There was a flash flood warning for the area.  And at 4:30, Cindy drove the 4 kids that were still left to their homes…the end. 

I’m really sad to be leaving the kids, especially before the end of the summer program because it feels like I’m deserting them and leaving my work unfinished…so I’m going to miss the kids and watching them grow, but I’m really glad to be done with the job…

Gratitude

Something amazing happened at work today.

The kids were gathering in the back waiting for instructions for their afternoon activity and as soon as I entered the room, Cindy said, "Lanae and Jza'ceir, you are going to go to the library right now with Miss Autumn and she's going to do some mediation between you two."

What? I could hardly believe my ears. Really? She wanted me to do that? I was surprised because she hasn't always been supportive/understanding/confident of my ability to deal with discipline issues. I felt proud because it was a sign that she thought I was capable, and grateful that she was giving me a chance to use the communication skills I've been trying to cultivate. I'm more used to her giving me advice, which often feels like criticism, so her asking me to do that is about the highest praise I've received all year.

saying our farewells

We had our first true community night in about three months last night, and our last one of the year. it was wonderful. Conor is leaving tomorrow and Megan leaves on Saturday, so since they won’t be coming to our closing retreat, I felt like we needed a way to say farewell to each other and reflect on our year together. It was a lovely hour of just reminiscing and sharing and laughing and enjoying each other’s company and our quirks and ups and downs as a community. Despite our mix of contrasting interests, personalities, and backgrounds, we made it through a year together without having any major conflicts and managed to get along for the most part. And that’s something to celebrate!

Comfortable and confident...

As we were cleaning up from the day today, Cindy turned to me and said, “You seem to be a lot more confident and comfortable with this than you were with the HW Club.” And I absolutely agreed with her.

I think there are a number of factors involved. 1) It’s much more similar to the day camp job I had for the last 5 summers, 2) it’s more informal and fun and we can change the plans if we need to because we planned them (we’re not trying to get them to do homework they don’t want to do that someone else told them to do), 3) I was around for the planning of it and I get to be in charge of stuff, so my role in leading the program is very different than it was in the HW Club and I feel like I have more freedom.

I was aware of these differences before Cindy made that comment, and even though it just sounds like a statement of observation, it feels like a compliment, which means a lot because compliments from her have been few and far between this year…

Summer Program Begins!

I’ve just had the best two days of work so far this year: the first two days of the summer program. Yesterday just felt so easy and natural, and today was so much fun! Monday might be a different story since I'll actually have to be teaching lessons, but I’m hoping for the best…

Thursday felt like it went by really fast, even though it was 7 and a half hours with the kids. Today was long, but great: we took a field trip to the historic Peter Mott House (underground railroad) and then swimming. The best part of the day was helping D’Andre overcome his fear of drowning because he couldn’t swim. We spent a lot of time together. It’s unusual to see him so vulnerable and clingy because he usually puts on such a tough, angry exterior. He was still scared to let of me after I got a life jacket for him – but by the time we left he was jumping into the pool by himself and doing twists and swimming around. =) The other best part was giving Jayson’s little brother, who’s 5, a piggy back ride all around the pool for 15 minutes. I guess it was just wonderful to connect and interact with the kids in an informal and fun setting rather than a classroom. =)

Boston!

I just got back from a historic trip to Boston! Historic for two reasons. 1, the obvious: Boston is a historic city. 2, the hysteric: I was visiting a friend I hadn't seen in 14 years! Dorothy and I were best friends in 3rd and 4th grades, but then I moved to Oregon and although we stayed in touch for a while (and Facebook is amazing!), we never saw each other again -- until now! Her younger sister, Delia, who was entering 3rd grade when I moved is now entering her senior year of college at BU and is living with Dorothy for the summer, so I got to see her, too. Here's how it transpired:


Pattie, Megan and I drove up on Friday night after dropping Dan off in NYC and got in at about 12:15 a.m. On Saturday morning, I had nutella on a bagel for breakfast. Nutella! A great start to a great day. :)


Delia had some work to do, so it was just Dorothy and I who set out walking and talking in the morning. We walked from Jamaica Plain down through the university/med. school/hospital area, past the Fenway, across the bridge into Cambridge with its beautiful view of downtown Boston and Beacon Hill, and back across the river where we rested our feet for a while in the Charles River Park. It was an absolutely beautiful day out: sunny, clear skies, 70-75 degrees with a light breeze.

Delia met up with us in the park. On our way out, we stopped by a bunch of tents that were set up and discovered that they were giving away free health food samples! So that was our free lunch... We walked down Charles Street and then throught Boston Commons and past the Paul Revere cemetery to Government Square, where there was a gay pride festival going on.

Next stop was the Old State House. We got there at 4:55. From there we headed to the North End where Dorothy bought a salad and we sat on the wharfs at the waterfront to eat it. And rest. We continued our walk to the Old North Church of Paul Revere fame, and then down to the Paul Revere house (built in 1680!). Before heading back to the subway , we wandered through the Italian neighborhood and stopped at the famous Mike's Pastry, where they bought me a cannoli and the best tiramisu i've had in ages. That place was busy and crowded for a reason!

We were back to Dorothy's by 7:30 and left at 8:30 with one of her friends to get some dinner. It was a beautiful evening, but we were so tired we didn't stay out long. By 10:00 we were back at the house and it didn't take long before we collapsed in bed.

Sunday morning was really low-key. We just lounged around the house (it was kind of dismal and rainy) and then finally went out to get breakfast at a nearby corner store/cafe, and then it was time for Megan and Patti to pick me up and come home!

It was an A+ weekend!

What happens when the boys leave town...

I'll write about Honduras some other time...but today i want to write about more recent things!

Last Saturday was an amazing day!

In the morning I took the PATCO to the Collingswood Farmer's Market and bought some strawberries (which I made into strawberry freezer jam later in the week!) and basil plants and other things.

Back at home, I kneaded the bread I'd started earlier in the morning and set it to rise while I went over to the park for the neighborhood summer bash! There was free food, popcorn and cotton candy, live salsa/merengue music, a bunch of local organizations with tables, and a bunch of activities for kids, including two carnival rides. Megan and Patti ended up staffing the Potty Toss and Tic-Tac-Toe toss for a while...It was a great community celebration and a beautiful day; the park was teeming with people all afternoon. =)

Later, I planted my basil in the garden and finished making the bread. Patience pays off: I ended up with the two most beautiful and perfect loaves of bread I've made this year! =)

Around 7, Megan, Patti, and I (the only ones home for the weekend) decided to be social, so we went out in the back yard, which we share with our neighbors, and entertained (and were entertained by) Monica and Bob's passel of grandkids, who were all visiting. They climbed all over us and played with our hair and begged for piggy-back and shoulder rides. They were also very intrigued by the garden, which was great except that they didn't really understand the concept of how plants grow...the 1-inch high cilantro plants got stepped on at least 3 times (but it survived!), and ZZ (the 2-year-old) managed to pull up some parsley plants and one of my newly planted basil plants - twice! I eventually had to ask Patti to please keep ZZ away from the garden - so that I'd still have a garden left!

At 9:00 the three of us left for a little adventure...There was a New Kids On the Block concert at the Susquehanna Bank Center (f.k.a. the Tweeter Center) down on the waterfront, and they wanted to go -- dressed in lovely outfits they'd made from the NKOTB sheets we found when we moved into our house... So we walked down there, stopping at the new Rita's Water Ice on the way and having a brief chat with the Mormon missionaries who were playing baseball in the parking lot.

When we got to the SBC, we strolled along the waterfront with its beautiful view of downtown Philly and took pictures in front of the Battleship NJ (gag) and danced and listened to the music for a bit. But then the music stopped all of a sudden in the middle of a song. And then the band started leading the audience in a chant that went something like "I don't who broke it but they better fix this ****. We're not leaving til they fix this ****." So we left.

On the way back, we stopped at a cool water fountain with colored lights that we had walked past on the way there and played in it for a while. =) When we were done with that, and Megan and Patti were thoroughly soaked, we walked to McDonald's for a late-night snack. Unfortately, they were closed, and you can't walk through the drive-thru. So that was that. We headed home. Just after we crossed the bridge into North Camden, a friendly police man pulled up next to us and asked us where we were going. you see, "there's a concert and stuff going on tonight and sometimes people come for these things and think they're going somewhere, but they don't know where they're going..." We weren't lost, just crazy...

Before we got home, there was one more stop: Kristen was out on the porch of the Mission Year volunteer house, so we stopped and talked to them for a while. We got home at 11:30 and had our snacks. I made buckwheat pancakes and set off the smoke detector at midnight...

The End

Silent Retreat

I’ve really enjoyed this retreat. I was so ready for it: I needed to get in touch with me again – I’ve been spending so much time with people who are different from me (i.e. my housemates), that I haven’t really expressed myself much and haven’t really been the Me that I know is in there…

For being a "silent retreat", there was less silence and more sound than I was expecting. The silence started on Friday night and ended before dinner on Sunday. And during it, there were opportunities for activities that involved listening to other people talk and listenting to music or singing (guided prayer, yoga, Taize, music at mealtimes...) Plus, the three meetings with my spiritual director.

One of the spiritual directors this weekend was a young woman who had just returned from El Salvador. She’s 27 and in her first year as a novice. When she introduced herself the first night, I just had to talk to her, what with the El Salvador connection and the novice/same age as my sister thing...

I had a great spiritual director who asked good questions and was easy to talk to and let me not say anything. Would I consider myself a Christian? How would I name my spirituality? Am I asking the right question [in prayer] – what do I really want to know? Why is making time to connect with God in the middle of my day important to me?

I got to walk in the woods, climb trees, listen to my thoughts, and reconnect with my spirituality. there were rhododendrons and evergreens, including cedars, and giant poplars and oaks and maples. and birds and woodpeckers. I got a sunburn, too…

The only problem with retreats is that I get to spend time with other JVs who are a lot more like me and it makes me wish they were my housemates…

I have a garden!

My dream of having a garden in our backyard has come true! Over the last few weeks, I've been working on building beds, getting supplies together, and buying seeds. Now I have an L-shaped garden a foot and a half wide, each leg about 5-6 feet long. So far I've planted snow and snap peas, lettuce and spinach, and parsley. There's more to come... It's so exciting! But waiting for things to grow takes a lot of patience -- now that it's in the ground, I just want it to grow! Now! =)

tired

I went to bed last night feeling weary, tired, worn out, and not wanting to go back to work. That didn’t really change until the kids shows up for HW Club, which is ironic because that’s the part I was dreading…

I haven’t decided if I like the new hole in the wall yet, but it wasn’t as bad as I was afraid it might be. I actually left work feeling more awake and at peace than I had when I got there.

Tony Campolo

tonight Dan and I went to hear Tony Campolo speak at St. Joe’s Pro Cathedral. It was the annual Romero Center Peace & Justice Lecture. He talked (or preached, as it were) about the Christian call to build the Kingdom of God on earth and what that looks like. It’s a familiar message I’ve heard many times before, but he delivered it very well, with humor and animation.

It was funny to realize that I was the only one in my house who had heard of him before – he’s not Catholic… I was pretty impressed that the Romero Center got him as a speaker because he's pretty famous (in ceratin circles...), but then I learned that he was born and raised in Philadelphia and still lives and teaches there, so it probably wasn't too hard.

a series of unfortunate events, maybe

two unfortunate things happened at work this week while the kids were out on spring break.

1) we got a new internet provider and with it came new network firewalls, including facebook and chat. So, no more facebook during my lunch break or msn messenger…gchat still seems to work from my email page, though.

2) half the wall was taken out between the two classrooms. it’s a 4-foot wide doorway with no door. I’m worried it will leave me feeling more nervous and less free to do what I want…more evaluation from cindy, less courage for me…we’ll see what happens when the kids come back…

Triduum

Thursday evening I went to a Maundy Thursday service at Tioga UMC in North Philly. It was a cooperative service with St. George’s UMC and other UMC’s in the “Central Cluster”, which are all African-American congregations. Of the approximately 50 people there, I was one of only two white people in the congregation. The only others were the two St. George’s pastors and the pianist. It was a 7:00 service. It got under way at about 7:30. I didn’t stay until the end, because we were having a Seder meal at home, planned for about 8:30…well, I left the church at about 8:40, seeing that the service wasn’t going to end at least until 9. I couldn’t leave before that, because I had to stay for the foot washing – that’s the whole reason I went to the service! That’s my favorite thing about Maundy Thursday services. So I snuck out during the offering.

The Seder was nice. Megan did a good job of preparing the meal and leading us through an abbreviated version of it. We even included the Matzo hide-and-seek! =) And after we were done and we were still sitting there talking, I looked at the clock and discovered it was 11:30PM. Good thing we all had Friday off…

Friday morning I participated in the viacrusis with Sacred Heart parish in South Camden. It was cool. Each station was a place in the neighborhood where someone had been killed within the past 10 years or so. Fr. Doyle would explain who had died and how and then there’d be a scripture and response and prayer before we moved on. I helped Sean Dougherty (Patti’s boss) carry the cross between stations 9 and 10. I’d never had that experience before (never even been on a viacrusis before), so I was glad he asked. I shouldered it and he took the rear. It was heavy, and I got a sore shoulder, but it was bearable. Hard, but I didn’t mind – it was a good feeling.

In the evening I went to a tenebrae service at Grace Lutheran. It was exactly what I wanted and needed: calm, reflective, quiet, serious.

Saturday, appropriately, was dreary and rainy.

Sunday was cold and windy, but clear and sunny! I went to Chestnut Hill UMC for church. It was amazing to see the sanctuary practically full, and it felt awesome! There were at least twice as many people there as usual (like 60 instead of 30). It felt very homey, especially since they ended service with the choir singing the Hallelujah chorus, like Macalester-Plymouth* does. The format of worship was pretty standard and didn’t include anything radical, but the content was just as awesome as usual.

And in the afternoon, I started making a garden in my back yard…how appropriate for Easter!

*The church I attended Easter services at with my aunt and uncle in St. Paul, MN during college.

bread and church

yesterday, I tried to make bread again, and failed again because it didn’t rise, again…what am I doing wrong? maybe i’m just too impatient…but i made applesauce tonight with the shriveled apples that have been in the fridge for months, and it came out yummy!

this morning i went to Grace Lutheran again. It’s such a funny little church. apparently church does officially begin at 10:15, not 10 like the sign says, which is a good thing, since I got there at about ten after…

I wish I had a church that I could feel like was my church, and have that community and outlet…

John Dear

Tonight, Megan and I went to a lecture by John Dear, SJ. He’s a pretty radical Jesuit peace activist who’s written a lot of books, one of which I read for a research paper I wrote my senior year of college. For some reason I thought he was of the older generation – because he’s done so much – like in his 60s at least, and small like Jon Sobrino… So you can imagine my shock when this John Edwards-esque baby-faced 49-year-old walked up to the podium and started talking. er, preaching.

He’s a very dynamic speaker, and funny. and very bold. I really liked what he had to say, but I was a little self-conscious being there with Megan, knowing that a number of the things he said probably made her a little uncomfortable, so it was hard to be totally enthusiastic. He was obviously “preaching to the choir” and so he didn’t temper his tone at all. But it seems to me that people preaching a message like his about radical nonviolence, talking about how we need to practice peace within ourselves and within the world and speak out against violence need to deliver it in a way that will allow skeptics to hear it, rather than feel like they’re being attacked and get defensive.

Lenten Practices

Back in February, we had a community conversation about Lent and any traditions we had, such as doing daily devotions or giving something up and our thoughts about it. I have never "given something up" for Lent, because I always thought it just seemed shallow and didn't really have anything to do with preparing for Easter as far as I could tell. For the last few years, I've tried to do something deeper: stop a harmful behavior, adopt a practice or habit to make my life reflect my ideals... I was struggling to come up with something concrete to do this year, until I went to Chestnut Hill UMC the first Sunday of Lent. They had us reflect on different aspects of our life (self-care, spirituality, relationships, justice, creativity, and gifts/talents) and choose something. Here's what I came up with:

1) morning reflection/prayer
2) relationships w/community members
3) involvement in neighborhood/community
4) weekly mandalas
5) begin a garden
6) more intentionality about choices that affect the environment
7) improve how I relate to the kids, teens, and Cindy at work
8) breathe and notice

I have to say, I haven't done morning reflections every day, I haven't made a single Mandala yet, and I haven't put enough effort into #2. I've been thinking a lot about #s 3 and 5 -- and I checked out some gardening books from the library! I think I've been making improvements in all the other areas... #8 is harder than it sounds, but it's the one that has the biggest effect on my day. I've got 3 weeks left, let's see how much more progress I can make!

spring cleaning

Cindy and I spent the day cleaning, sorting, and rearranging. Must be spring cleaning time! The shelves in my office that hold games and supplies are much better organized now – we’ll see how long that lasts! The library has had almost a total transformation. Basically, we took all the books off of all the shelves, piled them in the middle of the floor, moved the bookcases to a different wall, and then sorted through the books and put most of them back on the shelves. For a while it looked like a hurricane had swept through the room, but now it is cleaner and more spacious than it’s been since I got here! We expect to be getting one or two new bookcases pretty soon, made by Cindy’s husband, so we had to make space for them.

But if it’s the first day of spring, why did so many people wake up to a light dusting of snow on the ground?

a long week...

this week has felt so long…today should have been Friday. In fact, yesterday should have been Friday! sigh.

On Monday, we had our first community night in about two weeks, which was really nice: we’ve been really scattered lately it feels and our community has felt pretty disconnected. We’ll see if anything comes of the discussion…

On Tuesday, I had to break up a fight between two boys – 2^nd and 3^rd grade. They were friends, too! And it all started over some stolen pieces of CookieCrisp: S got mad about it and stole Z’s picture. He wouldn’t give it back, so Z pushed him, and S punched back. That’s when I got in between them to stop it and keep them apart from each other. It was pretty intense – probably the most intense moment I’ve had all year in terms of adrenaline, even including the two days when I had to run the homework club by myself. The good thing is, when we brought their moms in to talk about it with them, there was no angry threatening language used toward the kids, and the resolution was not harsh punishment but rather an agreement between the boys that they were going to be friends, not enemies.

To celebrate St. Patty’s Day that night, we went over to the Philly house and had dinner with them and then went out to a bar in Old City. It wasn’t too crazy since it was a weeknight, although I didn’t get to bed until 2am…

Yesterday was fine, but I was super tired all day today, and didn’t have much patience for the kids. They kept on coming up to me and tattling on all the misbehavior that was going on: he said this to her, she used this word, she did this to him, he said this… most of these occurrences were happening in other rooms and not to the kids who were reporting it. I was trying to help kids do their homework, and my only reaction was to want to shout “I don’t care, stop bugging me!” I didn’t, but I was seriously annoyed. Once I got home, I just sat on the couch all evening feeling like a despondent lump and watched TV.

Thank goodness tomorrow is Friday.

Nor-easter

Big snow storm last night – a true “Nor-Easter”. Dumped about 5 inches on us here in Camden, more in other places. Pretty much every single school in South Jersey and Southeast PA was closed today. Cindy called in the morning to tell me she wasn't going to work today, so I decided to wait at least until it stopped snowing and the wind let up and the roads were better. Finally decided at 1:30 that there was no reason for me not to go in, but I was tired of sitting around. I made to the office at about 2:00 and left again at 4:15 so I wouldn't have to drive in the dark. Megan and I cooked up an Indian feast for dinner tonight: lentil dal, curried vegetables, basmati rice, banana raita...it all turned out great except for the chaptis...