awed & astounded

“A tree gives glory to God by being a tree…The more a tree is like itself, the more it is like [God]…This particular tree will give glory to God by spreading out its roots in the earth and raising its branches into the air and the light in a way that no other tree before or after it ever did or will do…

The little yellow flowers that nobody notices on the edge of that road are saints looking up into the face of God. This leaf has its own texture and its own pattern of veins and its own holy shape, and the bass and trout hiding in the deep pools of the river are canonized by their beauty and their strength…Nothing else in the world ever did or ever will imitate God in quite the same way. That is [their] sanctity…

For me to be a saint means to be myself…Trees and animals have no problem. God makes them what they are without consulting them, and they are perfectly satisfied. With us, it is different…”

(Thomas Merton, New Seeds of Contemplation)

Wow. What a glorious Sabbath. A day of sunlight after yesterday’s soaking. A long walk with the saints – trees, leaves, rocks, salamanders, slugs, beavers, birds… I am awed and astounded, enchanted and enamored by God’s amazing, incredible creations. By God, as it were.

Today for church, I went on a four-hour walk to the Quabbin and back. I just love the smell of leaves on the ground after it’s rained, and the quietness of the soft, damp ground under my feet made it easier to listen to the sounds of the woods.

I was surprised and overjoyed and the sight of a small bright orange salamander at my feet, and stopped to watch it cautiously edge off the path into the matching leaves.

I went to say hello to a beautiful old tree and discovered a human-inflicted scar on it. I laid my had on the gash, leaned my forehead against the trunk, and prayed breath and life, compassion, apology, healing. Then something caught my eye, dangling and spinning in the air, curved like a pine needle – what was it? A slug? What kind of slug hangs from a thread? Was it caught? The closer I looked, the more fascinated I became. It was indeed a slug of sorts – very small and skinny, about an inch long. It was hanging upside-down from a “string” attached to a piece of bark about a foot above it, and it was slowly but surely descending. I did not know slugs could do that! I stayed there watching it twist and turn and contort its body to steady itself in the precarious breeze as it oh-so-slowly lowered itself down…finally, 4 feet and at least 15 minutes later, it swung forward and clung to a piece of bark about 6 inches above the ground. I could not help but let out a gasp of incredulity and joy at this amazing feat of nature.

Onward to the Quabbin. I sat on a fallen tree along the shore, just listening and looking, overcome by the beauty and stillness that surrounded me. I immersed myself in it, took my shoes off to feel the cool graininess of the sand, let God bathe me with sunlight and sound. Was that a loon I heard making that haunting cry from across the lake? I could hear each bird as it slipped under the water to search for food, the rhythmic beat of wings overhead, far-off birds twittering in the woods, the sound of branches rustling and snapping as an animal moved through the underbrush. I watched a bird and a beaver cross paths in the water, birds soaring and diving to skim the surface, saw the mist begin to gather at the edges…observed the stillness, the quiet, the goodness, the holiness of it all. Life. God.

“And on the 6th day, God looked at everything that had been created – the land, the waters, the trees and plants, the birds of the air, the creatures of the sea, the land-dwelling animals of all sizes, the humans, everything seen and unseen…and God said it was good. And then God rested.”

Drenched

I went for a walk in the drizzle yesterday, turned my face to the sky, and just stood there for five minutes, letting the raindrops fall on my face, remembering those New York summer storms in which we would run outside, laughing, and get drenched in the wonders of God…

life-work

I love the fact that I was instructed by my “boss” to stop early and not work so hard and wear myself out; that I deserved and needed a break.

“Stop!” She said. “Take a break and rest! Go for a walk in the woods before it rains. It’s not healthy to be stuck in the house all day, you need to get outside! You’ve done enough today – go!”

So go I did – out to the Quabbin to sit on the rocky shore and breathe with the waves and watch the sun set behind the dark hills and windy clouds; to relax my body that was tired of cooking and cleaning; to soothe my mind, rejuvenate my spirit; to connect with the God that is in all and through all; to feel the presence of the Spirit around me and let it fill me.

Being in nature – letting myself be overwhelmed by it – is the best way I know of to connect with God, and if I want to live my life so that everything I do is an expression of my spirituality, then I need to have regular, intentional time in nature.

Here at Agape, that is understood as an integral part of life.

Life here is not about the Job – although there is certainly lots of work to be done! But the goal of life here is life itself. We don’t live in order to work or work in order to live, the way many people do: people who get a job simply so they can pay the bills and, if they earn enough, go enjoy themselves on their time off; people to whom life is meaningless if they can’t prove their worth to their family or society by being employed.

Rather, at Agape the work is a part of life, but the purpose is to be living and practicing a simple, spiritually grounded life, a whole life, that is supported by community and grounded in nature. It’s not about being a “good” worker who will do everything the boss says and beyond, in spite of your opinions about the task you may be assigned, in order to be appreciated and prove your value and maybe even get a raise. The work that happens at Agape is about living your beliefs and witnessing to your convictions and teaching other about how to go and do likewise.

It’s been a while…

Hey people – it’s been a while since I put anything up on this blog, so if that’s the only way you keep up with what I’m doing you would have been completely in the dark since August…sorry! My life has been pretty unsettled, with lots of traveling and decision-making.

After JVC ended, I went back to Philadelphia and stayed with my aunt for a few weeks. Not be able to decide what to do with my life, I decided instead to go on a trip: first to Asheville, North Carolina to visit Leah McCullough (former campus minister at Oregon State) and attend a Carrie Newcomer workshop and concert. Then, I flew to Chicago where I spent 2 and a half days with two good friends from my college days, Tracy and Sarah. From there I took the Megabus to Minneapolis and visited my aunt, uncle, and cousins for a week, along with getting to see a couple college friends and spending a day in Northfield visiting professors and church folk. when that was over, I flew back to Asheville, where I spent a few more weeks at Leah’s house, walking in the “mountains”, and attending a number of interesting lectures (Marcus Borg, Elias Chacour, Shane Claiborne…).

Eventually, I returned to Philadelphia – the first week of October. It was the epic kind of Greyhound bus ride you never want to experience…to put it briefly: delays, overbooked routes, overflow buses, missed connections, and unorganized boarding got me to Philly 7 hours later than I was originally scheduled to arrive…

So there I was, back in Philly again, trying to figure out where to go from there…finally – finally! – I made enough of a decision to put me on the road again, not sure exactly how it would turn out, but happy to be moving on.

And now I’m here at Agape, living in the woods about two miles’ distance from the great Quabbin reservoir. Hiking, reading, praying, working, and mastering the art of driving a stick-shift. Read more about it here.