Annual Update!

Another year, another Christmas, another place...This update comes to you from Arlington, Massachusetts, where I finally landed in June after 6 months in Dorchester, a month in Cambridge, and a month in Jamaica Plain. I’m living at the Arlington Friends House, which is an intentional community of 6 based on Quaker values of simplicity, nonviolence, and consensus. We have a poet-teacher, an economics professor who is also a graduate of St. Olaf, a piano/harpsichord technician, a theology PhD student who spent 2 years as the musician on Iona, a UU/UCC MDiv student/aspiring army chaplain/former Agape intern, and me, whatever I am...and three cats and a dog.

I spent the first half of the year feeling like a fish out of water (or maybe more appropriately a heron among seagulls…), debating the idea of leaving Boston – or leaving Massachusetts altogether. I applied to some internships in Maine and New York state, but ultimately decided to commit myself to my communities here: The Crossing (my church), Agape and the Creatively Maladjusteds, and the Friends House. In fact, in July I made a formal commitment to follow The Crossing’s “Rule for Life” for a year.

Highlights of the year included flying out to Washington to my friend Christine’s wedding, where I reunited with my friend Mary Beth and spent a day with my family in Oregon; showing my parents around the area when they came to visit me in October; discovering the SSJE and making a retreat at Emery House; and finally having a farm job, at least for a while. For a couple of months, I was employed by a friend of a friend to help organize his home office for his new furniture refurbishing business. In February I started working a few hours a week at a little day care center, and much to my surprise I’m still working there! During the summer I was employed at Land’s Sake farm in Weston as a member of the field crew, weeding, harvesting, transplanting, and the like. When that ended in September, I started working for an after-school farm education program at Wright-Locke Farm in Winchester until the season ended in early November. Since then I’ve been working more hours at the day care, doing odd jobs here and there, and volunteering with the Boston Area Gleaners in my spare time (and then doing things like making apple butter!).

I don’t know how it’s going to happen yet, but I’m excitedly anticipating participating in Mary Beth’s wedding in California this spring and a Cutting cousin reunion in Colorado this summer! Other than that, I have no idea what the coming year will have in store for me - though my hope is that it will include deeper friendships, more connection with the local food movement, more intentional spiritual practices, less anxiety, and a stronger sense of direction and confidence!

May your lives be filled with love and light,
Autumn

a candle-inspired poem

all-in-one universe

what little light
what
little

flame.
fire.

my flame
my heart
cave of your embrace
your shelter

  - love.

one little light
one
small flame
one fire
one heart
one love
one.

one.

a wonder -

lent, again

it's lent again.  i've had such a different experience of lent every year since finishing college.  that first year i spent it with my sister at her little monastery in Honduras as i began the long journey back to spiritual wholeness.  the next year i was living in Camden, NJ, rotating my worship between two churches in Philly and our neighborhood Lutheran church.  my practice of being more intentional and balanced in my spirituality, relationships, and life was informed by Chestnut Hill UMC.  The following year found me at the Agape Community in western MA as i found direction.  two years ago i had a lazy lent in Northern Ireland.  last year i was soul-searching at Holy Hill Hermitage in Ireland, and what an awesome experience that was.

what the preceding list doesn't reveal is all of the other places i've been around and between this litany of locales through which i've wandered and wondered over the past 6 years.  and now it's lent again, and here i am in Boston, trying to find rhythm and purpose while being mostly unemployed and ensconcing myself in the emergent church community of The Crossing.

as lent begins, the Spirit drives Jesus out into the desert, into the wilderness, where he struggles with the questions of who he is and how he is called to live.  in church a question is asked, "where is your wilderness?"  this; this is my wilderness.

welcome to lent.

Thanksgiving

Sometimes I get so wrapped up in the imperfections of my life these days that it takes a determined effort to look past it all and be thankful; to remember how many things I do have to be thankful for, even if life isn’t all that I’d like it to be.  There’s so much unknowing, unfulfillment, and of course self-judgment… I’m [still] not living where I want to live, not working where I want to work, not learning what I want to learn… 

And yet.

I have a comfortable place to live, with generous people who have shared their home with me.

I have a meaningful, enlivening worship community.

I have friends nearby, and friends both near and far who care about me. 

I have family who love me.

When I think about it, I really am overwhelmed with gratitude to all of the people who support me in so many different ways!  And I am so thankful to all of those people in my life who have helped me navigate a way through crises and confusions, holding my hand and helping me find clarity and confidence; encouraged me in my adventures; and those who applauded me for taking my time to figure things out in moments when I was frustrated with my lack of forward movement.  I am awed and humbled that people ask me, in the midst of all my own uncertainties, for advice! 

I’m grateful for my education and that I know how to cook.

And that I was taught (or perhaps allowed) to cultivate a sense of awe: the ability to notice and give thanks for the small things, and marvel at God’s goodness.  God’s immanence.  The knowledge that we are holy and everything that is is holy.    

I’m grateful for the trees that keep me grounded, for my eyes that seek out wonder, birds that teach me freedom, feet that carry me to beautiful places, sounds that bring me joy, lungs that give me breath.  And for this earth that feeds us.

Wherever you may be today, whoever you may be with, thank you for being part of my life, and may you also be graced with wonder. 

Happy Thanksgiving.

on the move again...

So I guess I'm not quite ready to change the name of this blog yet...

I've had a wonderful two months at my parents' home in Oregon while readjusting to American culture and getting used to life outside of a monastery...  2+ months filled with camping trips in the woods/mountains with my parents, visits to friends and grandmothers, raspberry-blueberry-blackberry-picking, jam-making, playing marimba, going to the farmers' market, a day at the beach, a friend's wedding, sorting through the boxes of stuff I have stored in the attic, pesto-making, a mozzarella cheese experiment, a little bit of gardening, and babysitting the kids in the community - mostly the very calm and adorable Amada (8 mos).  In other words: lots of things to keep me occupied and help me avoid planning my next move... :\

But after the celebratory festivities of my dad's 60th birthday and one final camping trip, it's on the move again for me -- this time in my new super-classy  gold 1998 Toyota Camry with leather seats and fake wood trim...  It's a cross-country road trip to Massachusetts to be reunited with the other bits of my life and decide where to go (or see where it takes me) from there. 

I envision:  living in the country/city outskirts.  living simply.  living in community - even better, a community with spiritual values.  being part of a religious community (church, small groups, etc.).  living close enough to an urban area to be able to take advantage of what it offers - cultural and educational opportunities.  plenty of access to quiet outdoor space.  working with kids (esp. 7-11 yr-olds).  working outdoors.  gardening.  improving my folk-guitar skills.  taking some classes, get some training to increase my knowledge and skills re:gardening/working with kids/communicating, figuring out if i want/need to go to grad school/seminary... 

If you have any ideas about places/towns, organizations, networks, farms, communities, programs, jobs, people, resources, I'd love it if you could point me in their direction! 

I imagine the next few months will be more unsettled than I'd prefer, but hopefully my visions and dreams and trust in god's goodness will keep me going and lead me through it to a place of firmer rootedness...