the second two weeks of November were two of the most difficult weeks of my life. not the most, but they ranked pretty high up there.
i decided to move to Boston, thinking it would be nice to live near friends (most of whom are part of the "creatively maladjusted" group of young adults from Agape) for once, and earn some money to beef up my savings so that i can travel or continue doing quasi-unpaid jobs in the spring...
easier said than done. searching for a job and place to live in a new city simultaneously is not an easy thing to do, especially when you've never done it before! and especially when you're only looking for temporary work and temporary housing.
it all came to a head on Nov. 11, as i wrote in my journal:
"i am sick, sick, sick of this! all i've been doing for the past weeks is switching between tabs on my browser looking at craigslist and other job and roommate sites. i've had absolutely zero success, and it's gotten to the point where i just feel sick upon thinking about it. it's like drowning, like treading water with tired legs and an out of reach shore. yes, i want to be here near these people, but i don't want to do what it seems like i have to in order to make that happen, which is rent an apartment for $500 and work a full time temp job.... what's wrong? what's wrong is that i've 'gotten off the beam' in order to earn money. what's wrong is that i haven't been listening to or caring for my soul. and i've run out of creativity and passion. i've burnt out."
and of course, after that, things started getting better. a couple of people responded to my inquiries about rooms, i filled out some online job applications, and i took a day off from it all. then, inspired by a new friend, i decided to take a different approach. i decided to swallow my pride and ask for help; to be vulnerable and put myself and my needs out there, to the mercies and graces of the united methodists of boston. would any pastors or members of their congregations be willing and able to take me in for a couple of months?
eight days later, i moved into my new home in Dorchester, with Linda and Gary, two semi-retired methodist pastors, and the next day i had a job interview.
community, community, community! how does anyone survive without it? our society teaches us that we should be able to go it alone and take care of ourselves, be independent and self-reliant -- and, consequently, to isolate ourselves from others, refusing to be vulnerable, to ask for help when we need it, to create a safety net of community; forcing us to rely only on our wits, skills, and personal finances.
as i became more desperate to find a solution to my homeless and jobless situation, i became more aware of how my cultural and class identities played into my dificulties. i realized that it had never crossed my mind to seek out a social service agency that could help me, and that i wouldn't even know how to find one. despite my miniscule savings and lack of income and housing, i didn't identify myself as someone who would need or qualify for that kind of assistance - i had always seen myself on the other side, serving rather than receiving. those were the cultural ideals and experiences i'd been raised with. i could hear myself forming the thought "i never thought i'd be one of 'those' people" and immediately cringed at my use of "those".
would "giving in" and going to an agency for help be a "sign of weakness"? or would it have been a sign of strength? of courage? of humility? to ask for the help i needed, never mind my college degree and middle class ideals, and be willing to cross out the word "those", to erase the line, and let me become a part of "us," to be a recipient of grace rather than a dispenser; to be vulnerable and depend on others' wisdom. even though i did not take that step (although i did in my own small way by emailing all of those unknown methodists), i gained a much greater respect and understanding of people who find themselves in that situation, and made an important discovery about myself along the way.
Showing posts with label Methodism. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Methodism. Show all posts
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Sunday, January 4, 2009
Sunday morning
I think today made up for yesterday.
I got up at 10 and took the PATCO into Philly. Walked 5 blocks to Arch St. UMC. It was nice. They are a diverse and progressive church, even if not all of their theological language lines up with that. They’re really active in the community too, and have lots of interesting stuff going on. And they have great music! I was almost ready to jump in with both feet, but Philly isn’t my home, Camden is. I want a church like that in Camden. (But why were the black people only sitting in the back half of the sanctuary? There were white people in the back, too, but no black people up front. Weird.)
Afterwards, I stopped in at 10,000 Villages to use my gift card – I bought a "Simply in Season" cookbook and a dark chocolate bar. Mmmm.
I got up at 10 and took the PATCO into Philly. Walked 5 blocks to Arch St. UMC. It was nice. They are a diverse and progressive church, even if not all of their theological language lines up with that. They’re really active in the community too, and have lots of interesting stuff going on. And they have great music! I was almost ready to jump in with both feet, but Philly isn’t my home, Camden is. I want a church like that in Camden. (But why were the black people only sitting in the back half of the sanctuary? There were white people in the back, too, but no black people up front. Weird.)
Afterwards, I stopped in at 10,000 Villages to use my gift card – I bought a "Simply in Season" cookbook and a dark chocolate bar. Mmmm.
Sunday, November 9, 2008
Lutherans, Methodists, Oregonians, and Oles in Baltimore/D.C.
I called my friend Jenn (a Methodist from Oregon doing the Lutheran Volunteer Corps in Baltimore) on Tuesday to ask if she'd be available for a weekend escapade to D.C. I called on Thursday to finalize the plans. On Friday night, my housemates dropped me off at the Inner Harbor in Baltimore, where I met Jenn and took the bus with her back to her place. Their house is so nice and fresh and clean feeling – ours always feels like a cluttered mess to me...
Saturday morning, we left at 7:45 am to walk to the Methodist church where we were to meet our ride to D.C. We were late, so our carpool actually just picked us up along the street! They were going to a monthly Wash/D.C. area Reconciling Methodists meeting, so we went too. It was a series of adventures getting there though! First, we got blocked on the entrance ramp to the highway by a car that had spun out, so we had to back up and meander our way through Baltimore to find another highway entrance. At that point we would have been about 5 minutes late for the meeting – they had planned to be early because they were bringing the coffee and treats…
But then, our directions took us to the wrong church! The driver’s nephew had looked them up and she hadn’t double checked them before we left. So the other woman called her partner and had her look up directions on Google and tell them to us over the phone. It only should have taken 15 minutes from where we were, but there was construction on Pennsylvania Avenue, which was completely backed up and just inching along. So we detoured. And got utterly and completely lost and confused. We FINALLY made it to Capitol Hill UMC, 45 minutes late for the meeting. Sigh.
It had been dismal and rainy in the morning, but when the meeting was over it had turned into a beautiful, warn, sunny fall day. Hooray! We walked to the Eastern Market and meandered our way through, eating free samples. We bought some pupusas at a restaurant and carried them down past the Capitol to the National Mall where we sat on a bench and ate them.
We discovered a rally going on that focused on ending the genocide in Darfur. There were hundreds or thousands of colorful canvas tents set up that has been painted by different groups, and they had blank ones that anyone could paint – so we did! And we picked up some tickets to the Holocaust museum. We spent an hour at the Museum of the American Indian, which was really cool, and then at 3:30 headed down past the crazy Smithsonian castle to the Washington Monument. Didn’t go in it, just sat on the wall and looked at the reflecting pool, the Lincoln Memorial and the White House. Last stop was the Holocaust museum – we got there at 4:30, just in time for the last elevator up to the beginning of the gallery. It was pretty awesome. The most striking thing for me was the room full of shoes, all different sizes and styles, and just imagining who they might have belonged to. Walking through the boxcar was really powerful too.
Then it was 5:30 and time to head up to U Street for dinner with the Washington Lutheran Volunteers whose house we spent the night at. We discovered another Methodist living there! And when I looked at the pictures they had up of past LV communities, I discovered that I knew one of the volunteers from last year -- she was in my same class at St. Olaf and we'd had some music courses together!
Sunday morning we went to Foundry UMC. They are a very boldly reconciling congregation, as well as the one that a lot of famous people go to (e.g. the Clintons…). The style was pretty traditional, but the content was engaging. One of the nice things about it was that its large spacious sanctuary was practically full. Too often I’m in churches whose congregations just don’t fill up the space, and no matter how many people there are, if the sanctuary looks half-empty, it often feels that way too…
After church, my housemates picked us up, and we dropped Jenn off in Baltimore on our way home. It was a fabulous first trip ever to Washington, D.C. Maybe my second ever will be on January 20th? …
Saturday morning, we left at 7:45 am to walk to the Methodist church where we were to meet our ride to D.C. We were late, so our carpool actually just picked us up along the street! They were going to a monthly Wash/D.C. area Reconciling Methodists meeting, so we went too. It was a series of adventures getting there though! First, we got blocked on the entrance ramp to the highway by a car that had spun out, so we had to back up and meander our way through Baltimore to find another highway entrance. At that point we would have been about 5 minutes late for the meeting – they had planned to be early because they were bringing the coffee and treats…
But then, our directions took us to the wrong church! The driver’s nephew had looked them up and she hadn’t double checked them before we left. So the other woman called her partner and had her look up directions on Google and tell them to us over the phone. It only should have taken 15 minutes from where we were, but there was construction on Pennsylvania Avenue, which was completely backed up and just inching along. So we detoured. And got utterly and completely lost and confused. We FINALLY made it to Capitol Hill UMC, 45 minutes late for the meeting. Sigh.
It had been dismal and rainy in the morning, but when the meeting was over it had turned into a beautiful, warn, sunny fall day. Hooray! We walked to the Eastern Market and meandered our way through, eating free samples. We bought some pupusas at a restaurant and carried them down past the Capitol to the National Mall where we sat on a bench and ate them.
We discovered a rally going on that focused on ending the genocide in Darfur. There were hundreds or thousands of colorful canvas tents set up that has been painted by different groups, and they had blank ones that anyone could paint – so we did! And we picked up some tickets to the Holocaust museum. We spent an hour at the Museum of the American Indian, which was really cool, and then at 3:30 headed down past the crazy Smithsonian castle to the Washington Monument. Didn’t go in it, just sat on the wall and looked at the reflecting pool, the Lincoln Memorial and the White House. Last stop was the Holocaust museum – we got there at 4:30, just in time for the last elevator up to the beginning of the gallery. It was pretty awesome. The most striking thing for me was the room full of shoes, all different sizes and styles, and just imagining who they might have belonged to. Walking through the boxcar was really powerful too.
Then it was 5:30 and time to head up to U Street for dinner with the Washington Lutheran Volunteers whose house we spent the night at. We discovered another Methodist living there! And when I looked at the pictures they had up of past LV communities, I discovered that I knew one of the volunteers from last year -- she was in my same class at St. Olaf and we'd had some music courses together!
Sunday morning we went to Foundry UMC. They are a very boldly reconciling congregation, as well as the one that a lot of famous people go to (e.g. the Clintons…). The style was pretty traditional, but the content was engaging. One of the nice things about it was that its large spacious sanctuary was practically full. Too often I’m in churches whose congregations just don’t fill up the space, and no matter how many people there are, if the sanctuary looks half-empty, it often feels that way too…
After church, my housemates picked us up, and we dropped Jenn off in Baltimore on our way home. It was a fabulous first trip ever to Washington, D.C. Maybe my second ever will be on January 20th? …
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
18-hour visit
Last night, I finally got in touch with my friend Marié! (We had discovered in August that we were both going to be out here this year). So instead of going bar-hopping with my housemates (not my idea of fun…), I dropped them off in Philly and went to her place. It’s fun to have a Methodist friend from Oregon nearby, even though (as we soon realized) we don’t actually know each other that well.
Went to Arch Street UMC together on Sunday morning. It’s a pretty neat church, very old and right downtown. It was great to hear some good Methodist music—emphasis on the music part (they could have picked better songs...): great singing/harmony/acoustics/choir. The UMW invited us to stay for lunch with them, so we did: JVC (and poor Grad student) rule: never pass up free food when it’s offered… It was a great spur-of-the-moment 18 hours.
Went to Arch Street UMC together on Sunday morning. It’s a pretty neat church, very old and right downtown. It was great to hear some good Methodist music—emphasis on the music part (they could have picked better songs...): great singing/harmony/acoustics/choir. The UMW invited us to stay for lunch with them, so we did: JVC (and poor Grad student) rule: never pass up free food when it’s offered… It was a great spur-of-the-moment 18 hours.
Sunday, September 7, 2008
New Beginnings UMC
This morning I went to the United Methodist church right around the corner from us on State Street with Megan. Its official name turns out to be “New Beginnings” UMC, which might explain why we couldn’t find any information about “State Street UMC” on the internet.
It’s a small, African-American congregation that’s trying to figure out how to remain vital. The Conference is watching them this year to see if the ministry site is worth keeping open; if the congregation has the energy, vision, and commitment to keep going and to offer ministries that make a difference in the community. I don’t know that I’ll go there very often – it’s not really my worship style – but I’m glad I went and made the connection with them and the neighborhood.
It’s a small, African-American congregation that’s trying to figure out how to remain vital. The Conference is watching them this year to see if the ministry site is worth keeping open; if the congregation has the energy, vision, and commitment to keep going and to offer ministries that make a difference in the community. I don’t know that I’ll go there very often – it’s not really my worship style – but I’m glad I went and made the connection with them and the neighborhood.
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