lent, again

it's lent again.  i've had such a different experience of lent every year since finishing college.  that first year i spent it with my sister at her little monastery in Honduras as i began the long journey back to spiritual wholeness.  the next year i was living in Camden, NJ, rotating my worship between two churches in Philly and our neighborhood Lutheran church.  my practice of being more intentional and balanced in my spirituality, relationships, and life was informed by Chestnut Hill UMC.  The following year found me at the Agape Community in western MA as i found direction.  two years ago i had a lazy lent in Northern Ireland.  last year i was soul-searching at Holy Hill Hermitage in Ireland, and what an awesome experience that was.

what the preceding list doesn't reveal is all of the other places i've been around and between this litany of locales through which i've wandered and wondered over the past 6 years.  and now it's lent again, and here i am in Boston, trying to find rhythm and purpose while being mostly unemployed and ensconcing myself in the emergent church community of The Crossing.

as lent begins, the Spirit drives Jesus out into the desert, into the wilderness, where he struggles with the questions of who he is and how he is called to live.  in church a question is asked, "where is your wilderness?"  this; this is my wilderness.

welcome to lent.

thoughts on church

I went to North UCC, the Open & Affirming one, in Middletown for the 2nd time today - and the pastor wasn't there this week either! I had multiple reactions to the service:
1) they're fairly progressive, but i'm sick of traditional male-centered theological language.
2) The service was led by lay leaders, and there was some deep story-sharing which reminded me of Sweet Home UMC. :)
3) they watched a video about worship that said "worship is supposed to be about God, not about how it makes you feel" and "Jesus calls us to worship his name, not argue about it." I see the truth in both of those statements, but...it's not worship unless it connects with me and speaks to my soul, is it? and, Jesus doesn't ask us to worship him, but to worship God. yeah, I have a problem with worshipping Jesus.
4) For special music, a woman played guitar and sang Gather Us In and Be Not Afraid - the kind of music I love and miss - it was wonderful and moving!
5) For the benediction, the same woman called everyone to join hands in a circle and said a prayer about diversity and loving our uniqueness and then we sang a song. :)
6) after experiencing number (1), it was reassuring to witness the struggle of the congregation to deal with the changing world around them and how to be God's presence; their passions around the need for action and trying to find answers for what they can do in their community.

a blessed Easter

my easter weekend was full of wonderful easter-y things:

It began with a Maundy Thursday tenebrae service at Christa’s UCC church involving a simple, candlelit seder meal of lamb eaten in silence interspersed with the passion week readings and a few songs, ending in darkness.

We did a Stations of the Cross in front of the State House in Boston on Good Friday from 12-3pm. It is done as a statement against the death penalty and all state-sponsored violence, including war and economic exploitation. I wrote and read the 12^th Station (Jesus dies on the cross) and sang and played music (flute) with Fran Reagan (guitar) in between the stations. There were about 30 people participants taking turns reading, holding the cross, and holding banners. It was warm and sunny and i didn’t wear sunscreen…

That was followed by a Passover Seder at my cousin Jon’s house in Hadley. I met my cousin Amity in Boston and carpooled with her. There were 16 people total, including my aunt Lenore and Bill. The rest were Liz’s family. It was fun – my first REAL seder experience – i.e. how a real American Jewish family does it, not a presentation to show non-Jews how it’s done. Celia played the violin, Rita asked the four questions in sign language, and their other two cousins also participated with music and a modern-day interpretation skit about the Exodus from Egypt. I got back to Agape at midnight…

On Saturday, we had an Easter Vigil service here at Agape. I of course was on the music team. I sang the “Exsultet” at the beginning, which is basically an intro to what the service is all about: we rejoice, we remember what God has done for us, etc. I had never been to an Easter vigil before and never heard it before, so I plunked out the melody on the piano and found it to be very minor, modal, and chant-like. So I said, “this is a happy declaration , it should sound more joyful than that!” So I spent a half hour modifying and practicing it. A couple hours later, as I stood there in front of the 30 people in attendance, I looked down at the music and realized I didn’t really remember what I’d practiced… John, the priest, must have noticed my nervous hesitation because he laid a hand on my shoulder and said a little blessing prayer, which was exactly the boost I needed to get started and not get wrapped up in the perfection of the performance, trust in my own ability and rehearsal, and just sing whatever felt right. it wasn’t “perfect”, but it was good – and I got a lot of compliments from Catholics who had never heard it done that way before. I have to say I was impressed too, because I’ve never done anything like that before and wouldn’t have thought It’s something I could do!

i only got 6 hours of sleep Saturday night, but i managed to get out of bed at 6am on Sunday and drive to Ware for the Easter sunrise service at the United Church. They did it in the adjacent cemetery, which was nice symbolism, and we were facing a stand of trees with the golden haze from the shining behind them. It was short and nice – about 20-30 people present – followed by a pancake breakfast. Then I went for a walk in the park along the Ware river, below the church. It was cool, beautiful, and calm, with lots of birdsong.

later in the morning, i went to the UCC church in Hardwick (Christa’s parish again) for a lovely, fairly traditional-style Easter service including a brass quartet and music by Handel. To my surprise, Christa’s parents invited me to attend Easter brunch with them afterward! It was a lovely buffet at a local “Herb farm.” Apparently they have beautiful gardens and host a lot of weddings in the summer.

In the later afternoon, i drove to a nearby state park with a small lake and sat, read, walked, journaled, in the breezy sunshine. It was about 70 degrees outside and there were people fishing, kayaking, and playing on the little beach. On my drive home i stopped to watch the sunset.

what a beautiful Easter!

first impressions

I went to church in Ware today for the fourth time.  The pastor stood on his head.  The 60-something balding man did a head-stand on the cement floor of the fellowship hall. 

It was his first Sunday.  Which is the only reason we were in the fellowship hall in the first place – because there was actually a coffee hour (!) to welcome him. 

I think the congregants were shocked, or at least highly amused at his antics.  But all he was doing was making friends with the 5-year-old girls who were jumping rope with a pink scarf (which was amusing in itself!)   Reminded me of Dad.  :)

It was nice to finally get to meet some of the members of the congregation, actually talk to people, introduce myself, learn some names, and be welcomed into the community as more than just a guest.  How is a guest supposed to be drawn in to a congregation if there’s no fellowship time after worship?  Thank goodness for new pastors, I guess…

Triduum

Thursday evening I went to a Maundy Thursday service at Tioga UMC in North Philly. It was a cooperative service with St. George’s UMC and other UMC’s in the “Central Cluster”, which are all African-American congregations. Of the approximately 50 people there, I was one of only two white people in the congregation. The only others were the two St. George’s pastors and the pianist. It was a 7:00 service. It got under way at about 7:30. I didn’t stay until the end, because we were having a Seder meal at home, planned for about 8:30…well, I left the church at about 8:40, seeing that the service wasn’t going to end at least until 9. I couldn’t leave before that, because I had to stay for the foot washing – that’s the whole reason I went to the service! That’s my favorite thing about Maundy Thursday services. So I snuck out during the offering.

The Seder was nice. Megan did a good job of preparing the meal and leading us through an abbreviated version of it. We even included the Matzo hide-and-seek! =) And after we were done and we were still sitting there talking, I looked at the clock and discovered it was 11:30PM. Good thing we all had Friday off…

Friday morning I participated in the viacrusis with Sacred Heart parish in South Camden. It was cool. Each station was a place in the neighborhood where someone had been killed within the past 10 years or so. Fr. Doyle would explain who had died and how and then there’d be a scripture and response and prayer before we moved on. I helped Sean Dougherty (Patti’s boss) carry the cross between stations 9 and 10. I’d never had that experience before (never even been on a viacrusis before), so I was glad he asked. I shouldered it and he took the rear. It was heavy, and I got a sore shoulder, but it was bearable. Hard, but I didn’t mind – it was a good feeling.

In the evening I went to a tenebrae service at Grace Lutheran. It was exactly what I wanted and needed: calm, reflective, quiet, serious.

Saturday, appropriately, was dreary and rainy.

Sunday was cold and windy, but clear and sunny! I went to Chestnut Hill UMC for church. It was amazing to see the sanctuary practically full, and it felt awesome! There were at least twice as many people there as usual (like 60 instead of 30). It felt very homey, especially since they ended service with the choir singing the Hallelujah chorus, like Macalester-Plymouth* does. The format of worship was pretty standard and didn’t include anything radical, but the content was just as awesome as usual.

And in the afternoon, I started making a garden in my back yard…how appropriate for Easter!

*The church I attended Easter services at with my aunt and uncle in St. Paul, MN during college.

bread and church

yesterday, I tried to make bread again, and failed again because it didn’t rise, again…what am I doing wrong? maybe i’m just too impatient…but i made applesauce tonight with the shriveled apples that have been in the fridge for months, and it came out yummy!

this morning i went to Grace Lutheran again. It’s such a funny little church. apparently church does officially begin at 10:15, not 10 like the sign says, which is a good thing, since I got there at about ten after…

I wish I had a church that I could feel like was my church, and have that community and outlet…

Valentine's Visit

Happy Birthday to my big sister Prairie!

The V-Day party was pretty fun, and there were no calamities. There were probably about 50 people here over the course of the night: Jenn came up with the Baltimore JVs, Conor, Megan, and Patti all had friends visiting, the German volunteers came, some St. Joe’s students, and a bunch of JVs. We made Jambalaya, cupcakes, hummus, and spinach-artichoke dip, which I can proudly claim was the hit of the night! I stayed out of the basement for the most part – it was too loud, crowded, and stinky. My room was the “safe haven” for the people who wanted to go to bed “early” (a.k.a. 1am), including me.

This morning, Jenn and I got up at 9am and headed off to Grace Lutheran Church after eating some pancakes. It's about two blocks from our house. I’ve been wanting to go there for a while because I know that the church has a history of being really involved in the city’s social justice movements. We got there a little after 10, but the sanctuary was practically empty. People gradually trickled in, and the pastor finally showed up around 10:15, apologizing for being “later than usual.” I loved the service, though – there was so much music, and I knew almost all of it! =) Pastor Margaret is a good preacher, too, and I was genuinely impressed to hear her include gays and lesbians in her list of “everyone that God loves.” She’s African-American, as is the majority of the congregation, but there were quite a few Hispanics and a smattering of white people as well. They were pretty excited that Jenn was an LVC-er, because apparently one of its founders was from that church.

After church, we met Marié in downtown Philadelphia, ate lunch at Reading Terminal Market, and strolled down the Ben Franklin Parkway in the breezy sunshine. It was fun to spend a day being a tourist, but I couldn’t get over the absurdity of the three of us Methodists from Oregon meeting up in Philly…

Sunday morning

I think today made up for yesterday.

I got up at 10 and took the PATCO into Philly. Walked 5 blocks to Arch St. UMC. It was nice. They are a diverse and progressive church, even if not all of their theological language lines up with that. They’re really active in the community too, and have lots of interesting stuff going on. And they have great music! I was almost ready to jump in with both feet, but Philly isn’t my home, Camden is. I want a church like that in Camden. (But why were the black people only sitting in the back half of the sanctuary? There were white people in the back, too, but no black people up front. Weird.)

Afterwards, I stopped in at 10,000 Villages to use my gift card – I bought a "Simply in Season" cookbook and a dark chocolate bar. Mmmm.

Lutherans, Methodists, Oregonians, and Oles in Baltimore/D.C.

I called my friend Jenn (a Methodist from Oregon doing the Lutheran Volunteer Corps in Baltimore) on Tuesday to ask if she'd be available for a weekend escapade to D.C. I called on Thursday to finalize the plans. On Friday night, my housemates dropped me off at the Inner Harbor in Baltimore, where I met Jenn and took the bus with her back to her place. Their house is so nice and fresh and clean feeling – ours always feels like a cluttered mess to me...

Saturday morning, we left at 7:45 am to walk to the Methodist church where we were to meet our ride to D.C. We were late, so our carpool actually just picked us up along the street! They were going to a monthly Wash/D.C. area Reconciling Methodists meeting, so we went too. It was a series of adventures getting there though! First, we got blocked on the entrance ramp to the highway by a car that had spun out, so we had to back up and meander our way through Baltimore to find another highway entrance. At that point we would have been about 5 minutes late for the meeting – they had planned to be early because they were bringing the coffee and treats…

But then, our directions took us to the wrong church! The driver’s nephew had looked them up and she hadn’t double checked them before we left. So the other woman called her partner and had her look up directions on Google and tell them to us over the phone. It only should have taken 15 minutes from where we were, but there was construction on Pennsylvania Avenue, which was completely backed up and just inching along. So we detoured. And got utterly and completely lost and confused. We FINALLY made it to Capitol Hill UMC, 45 minutes late for the meeting. Sigh.

It had been dismal and rainy in the morning, but when the meeting was over it had turned into a beautiful, warn, sunny fall day. Hooray! We walked to the Eastern Market and meandered our way through, eating free samples. We bought some pupusas at a restaurant and carried them down past the Capitol to the National Mall where we sat on a bench and ate them.

We discovered a rally going on that focused on ending the genocide in Darfur. There were hundreds or thousands of colorful canvas tents set up that has been painted by different groups, and they had blank ones that anyone could paint – so we did! And we picked up some tickets to the Holocaust museum. We spent an hour at the Museum of the American Indian, which was really cool, and then at 3:30 headed down past the crazy Smithsonian castle to the Washington Monument. Didn’t go in it, just sat on the wall and looked at the reflecting pool, the Lincoln Memorial and the White House. Last stop was the Holocaust museum – we got there at 4:30, just in time for the last elevator up to the beginning of the gallery. It was pretty awesome. The most striking thing for me was the room full of shoes, all different sizes and styles, and just imagining who they might have belonged to. Walking through the boxcar was really powerful too.

Then it was 5:30 and time to head up to U Street for dinner with the Washington Lutheran Volunteers whose house we spent the night at. We discovered another Methodist living there! And when I looked at the pictures they had up of past LV communities, I discovered that I knew one of the volunteers from last year -- she was in my same class at St. Olaf and we'd had some music courses together!

Sunday morning we went to Foundry UMC. They are a very boldly reconciling congregation, as well as the one that a lot of famous people go to (e.g. the Clintons…). The style was pretty traditional, but the content was engaging. One of the nice things about it was that its large spacious sanctuary was practically full. Too often I’m in churches whose congregations just don’t fill up the space, and no matter how many people there are, if the sanctuary looks half-empty, it often feels that way too…

After church, my housemates picked us up, and we dropped Jenn off in Baltimore on our way home. It was a fabulous first trip ever to Washington, D.C. Maybe my second ever will be on January 20th? …

18-hour visit

Last night, I finally got in touch with my friend Marié! (We had discovered in August that we were both going to be out here this year). So instead of going bar-hopping with my housemates (not my idea of fun…), I dropped them off in Philly and went to her place. It’s fun to have a Methodist friend from Oregon nearby, even though (as we soon realized) we don’t actually know each other that well.

Went to Arch Street UMC together on Sunday morning. It’s a pretty neat church, very old and right downtown. It was great to hear some good Methodist music—emphasis on the music part (they could have picked better songs...): great singing/harmony/acoustics/choir. The UMW invited us to stay for lunch with them, so we did: JVC (and poor Grad student) rule: never pass up free food when it’s offered… It was a great spur-of-the-moment 18 hours.

New Beginnings UMC

This morning I went to the United Methodist church right around the corner from us on State Street with Megan. Its official name turns out to be “New Beginnings” UMC, which might explain why we couldn’t find any information about “State Street UMC” on the internet.

It’s a small, African-American congregation that’s trying to figure out how to remain vital. The Conference is watching them this year to see if the ministry site is worth keeping open; if the congregation has the energy, vision, and commitment to keep going and to offer ministries that make a difference in the community. I don’t know that I’ll go there very often – it’s not really my worship style – but I’m glad I went and made the connection with them and the neighborhood.