huts

so i'm riding my bike along mountain road, thinking about the idea of going on a spiritual direction retreat and about my future and how i kind of just want to live like an 18th- or 19th-century homesteader, being simple, doing manual work, and that maybe i should find a job at a living history village or else go live in a hut in Africa or somewhere else, when i come to the top of a hill and find myself face to face with a new stone mcmansion fortress guarded by lions on pillars at the driveway entrace, and i can't help but let out a mournful, frustrated groan -- why do people think they need to live like that? why do they think it's ok? what's wrong with our world?

i kind of want to live in a hut...

so far...

I am really enjoying life here. I love having a community that hangs out together. and i love that we have check-in meetings to discuss how we're doing, how community life is going, etc. I like the collaborative team nature of it, too - how i get to help create the structure of my experience. and the kids are fun. :)

I do miss some of the privacy and contemplative prayer and structure of Agape. And the easy access to woodsy trails and the blatant progressiveness. It's harder for me to take reflective time for myself here - partly because there are more people to hang out with and partly because of the constant availablility of the internet via wireless on my laptop...

But it's much easier for me to talk to Ann than it ever was for me to take to Suzanne. And it's nice to have another intern here, too.

invitation

I love the place where this desk sits in my room,
in the corner between two windows facing south and east;
the way the oak-leaf-filtered light coming through the yellow-cream-edged window panes plays on the surface of the glossy white desk,
framed by the bold terracotta red of the walls.

Freedom Farm

My life journey/vocation quest/East Coast Exploration has finally led me to a place within an hour of the site of my childhood’s memories. I’m doing an internship at Freedom Farm in Middletown, NY. I met Ann and Edgar (the couple who started it with Ann’s brother Ben) at the young adult retreats at Agape – Edgar spent 8 months interning there when he was in his late 20s.

I got here on May 26th, and so far, it’s been a fun ride! Cary, the other intern, and I have been hard at work getting the garden ready: transplanting seedlings from the greenhouse, putting up pea trellises, weeding, preparing beds for more planting, caging tomatoes, mowing… and the boys (ages 4 and 7) have been keeping us busy laughing and playing baseball and basketball with them. I’m looking forward to the educational programs we’ll be doing in July and August with 9-18-year-olds from NYC.

Here’s a bit more about Freedom Farm:

MISSION STATEMENT:

Freedom Farm Community is a Christian-based youth education organization striving for peace and justice by teaching alternatives to violence, sustainable agriculture, and helping youth discover God’s transformative love for one another.

VISION STATEMENT:

Because we are people of faith who believe in a Creator God who loves creation (including the rivers, fields and forests, animals, and every human being in the world), and because we believe in Jesus Christ, who restored dignity and life to those that society degraded, and cleansed the greedy and hard-hearted, we dedicate our work on Freedom Farm to the vision of a beloved community, where all are liberated from oppression and are free to celebrate their sacred unity and diversity.

I think it’s going to be a good summer. :)

(check out my pictures on picasa and the Freedom Farm website at www.freedomfarmcommunity.org)

poem: a gardener like me

i long
for god to make a garden
of my heart
to turn it into a
growing, blooming, fruitful –useful-
place

loving hands immersed in its
soft soil
massaging it, picking out
the stones – those
all-pervasive impediments to growth;
passionately carving their way
through the closed cage of my ribs and into
the secret interior of my soul
opening up long furrows upon its
too-smooth surface deep enough
to find its tender places;
expertly, carefully, planting
each seed
one by one
gently and eagerly encouraging it to
take root and rise up!

i envision this gardener
approaching my heart-bed joyfully in anticipation
each and every day
to water the seeds;
crouching closely – hoping
to witness the first sign of growth
whispering and
singing come out!
come out, my loves!
arise!
dancing and
clapping her hands in delight
at each new green sliver of
life - yes!

yes.

i want my heart to feel like this
i want my god to be like this
-a gardener like me.