A HW Club story

Little D tried to run away today because he wanted snack. He even got out the door and down the steps. I told him it was OK if he wanted to leave, but he needed to call his mom first. He came inside and I tried to hand him the phone, but he said he’d stay – if I gave him snack. So I explained to him why he hadn’t been allowed to have snack (he didn't have his shoes on and he was running around and being loud). Then I had him explain it to me. He said he was going to leave, I said he had to call his mom, he said he would stay if he had snack. I said he had lost his chance for snack today, but he gets a new chance every day to show that he can behave/follow instructions and get snack. But the consequence of his behavior today was no snack. He started to cry. I left the room, saying if he wanted to go home he could call his mom.

Cindy went to talk to him and came back saying she had told him that if he apologized to me (for what, being obstinate?) he could have snack. Next thing I see is him with his jacket and backpack on headed toward the door. Not leaving, just waiting. He hadn’t called his mom. I asked him what it was Mrs. Cindy wanted him to apologize to me for anyway. He didn’t answer. He tried to go out the door. I locked it and tried to give him the phone again. He took his jacket and backpack off. There was a picture of MLK on the table. I asked him if he knew who it was and if he knew anything about him. We talked for about 5 minutes: I was impressed at how much he knew! I asked if he was ready to go back in the other room with everyone else – If you give me snack! Would you like a poptart? No, popcorn. I already put the popcorn away, but if you’d like a poptart you may have one. No. Strawberry or Cinnamon-sugar? Strawberry. OK. Done.

I’m a little frustrated because I ended up giving in, but: he hadn’t actually done anything that bad, plus, he wanted to stay. I was just trying to be consistent and follow through on my consequence (because I often get the feeling that Cindy thinks I'm too soft or wishy-washy with the kids), even though I didn’t really want to -- when I had warned him, I hadn't meant it to be an ultimatum, but the other kids had interpreted it that way and would have thought I was being wishy-washy and going back on my word if I'd given him snack. So I was relieved that Cindy gave me a way out of it, but also in some small way kind of wished she hadn't...